


Where It Starts

by deluxemycroft



Series: Ouroboros [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alien Culture, Birthday Presents, Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-01-31 16:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21449191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deluxemycroft/pseuds/deluxemycroft
Summary: For his 100th birthday, Loki gave Bucky a journal. Inside that journal were two letters.Here are the letters.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Loki/Steve Rogers
Series: Ouroboros [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1199902
Comments: 8
Kudos: 51





	Where It Starts

**Author's Note:**

> i wasn't actually going to write these letters (i liked the idea of them being just for bucky and no one else really needed to know what was in them) but i liked the idea of clint watching loki write a letter and being like 'i should do that' and writing 500 words with the whole purpose of calling bucky an old fart at the end. 
> 
> this takes place during 'let them say i walked with giants'
> 
> no warnings that i can think of! enjoy

_My dear Bucky,_

_This journal comes from Asgard. I was given one very similar for my own 100th birthday, as is Asgardian tradition, and I have continued this tradition with you, my friend. I know life has been terribly unkind to you, and I have not been the kindest as well. I am not the kindest soul, nor am I meant for it. I suppose another would apologize here, would ask for forgiveness, but I am my own, as you are your own. It is vital for us to stand in our truth and on our own feet._

_This tradition of journal giving in Asgard stems from our long lives. Even the most intelligent and learned Aesir cannot remember everything in over 5000 years. So we write them down. I myself have my own journals, although I have not written in them in some time. The journal will never run out of pages, and it will never grow to be unwieldy or heavy. There will always be pages for you to fill. The journal is spelled to open to what you search for. It automatically files entries in chronological order, as well as creates a very useful index that will find specific repeated phrases. There are other features of the journal but I will let you find them out on your own._

_The journals that you and I shared correspondence were spelled to only be read by our own eyes and no other. A 100th birthday journal is even more secure: another cannot even lift it, nor open it. It is impossible for anyone to read it. Your secrets and your past is safe within the covers._

_On the topic of secrets: Shuri has assured me that she will destroy any and all of the information I gained from your mind. I gave her only the necessary information to create the machine to remove the words from your mind. I suppose it is no more reassuring to know that only Clint and I know of what I found, but I swear to you that neither of us will ever reveal any of it. I am aware it was a great breach of trust, but you must also know that it was necessary. Shuri has informed me that her machine will be finished soon._

_I will soon marry Steve. I long ago gave up hope that there would be any being in any galaxy willing to bind their life to mine. I have so many memories of melancholy, of knowing that my life was tied to a monster’s. I suppose you have similar memories. There are many ways in which you and I differ, but in this, in our pasts, we are the same. I can only hope that Sam brings to you the same light that Steve brings to me._

_Friends are very important to Steve. I have an idea for his wedding gift that will allow you and others important to him to stay with him for longer than a regular human lifespan. I will divest none of my secrets, but I suppose I can tell you this: I will offer you an apple. I can only hope you will accept it._

_Happy birthday, my friend. Here’s to 100 more, and 100 after that._

_Loki_  
_Prince of Asgard_

* * *

_Barnes—_

_Congrats, you old bastard. I don’t really know what to say here other than good job for making it this long. Letters are kind of Loki’s thing. But I argued with a seidrmadr for about two days to get you this journal, so I hope you’re grateful. The cover is made from the first hydra (isn’t that poetic) that Loki ever killed. They call them ovaettrs on Asgard. They’re similar to what we call hydras here on Earth: big, ugly bastards, with too many heads and can only be killed by stabbing them in the heart. The first ovaettr an Aesir kills is a huge deal: Aesir make their marriage cups from their bones, they have books and clothes made out of their hides, and make a bunch of potions with their blood and have big feasts with the meat. Weirdos._

_Anyway, I hope you had a good day. My kids are shitty at baking, which they get from me, so I hope the cake was good. If you open the journal and flip to the last page, there’s a small packet taped to the cover. Inside it is a very small amount of a potion that is basically the world’s best stimulant. It makes you feel like your entire body is having every orgasm in your life all at once. Laura and I both took a drop and had the best sex of our lives. So my birthday present to you is basically Asgardian Viagra. Have Sam take a drop and he’ll fuck you into next week. Or take a drop and fuck him until he has a permanent limp. I inserted it before the spells were put on the journal. I say that just to reassure you that what Loki said was true (first time for everything right?): no one else can touch this journal or open it. It’s yours and no one is ever gonna take it. I’ll cut their heads off or something dramatic like that if they try._

_I doubt Loki is ever going to apologize for being an asshole to you, so I’ll do it for him. Sorry he’s a dick. I love the bastard, but he’s a bastard. He does care for you, even if he’s bad at showing it. I doubt he’s told you, but he keyed the wards around my house to you and Sam, which means you’ll always be allowed in. Mi casa es su casa and all that. The room upstairs will always be yours. I’ll even get a sign for ya that says ‘BUCKS ROOM’ if you want. Or maybe ‘OLD FART LIVES HERE’. Whatever you want. Just let me know._

_Anyway, happy birthday, pal. Hope the next 100 treats you better._

_-Clint_

**Author's Note:**

> these author notes are going to be very long! but please read it. i'm only posting this all here because no one who follows me on twitter cares about this fic, and i never get any interactions on tumblr whenever i post any updates, so i just quit doing that lol.
> 
> i waited to post this on 12/1/19 (technically its still 11/30 here but i was too excited to wait another night lol), the one year anniversary of me posting the first chapter of 'it ends bad'. i have absolutely put my heart and soul into this series in the past year. i've probably worked harder on this series than almost anything else in my life. i've written over 500k words in a year, which is an absolutely nuts thing to do. that's ~1.3k words/day, on average. i have put more time and work into this series than any other thing i've ever written in the past 10+ years of writing various fics for various fandoms. i am extremely and inordinately proud of it, and i want to just say thank you so, so much to everyone who has stayed along for the ride. i know this series has changed a lot since 'it ends bad' and i lost a lot of people somewhere along the way (i could probably go back and figure out exactly where it happened, but i'm not going to do that because it would just demoralize me lol), so extra thanks to everyone who has stuck around.
> 
> i know my writing style and my plot points aren't for everyone. and that's fine. i can't make anyone read anything i post. it is just frustrating and depressing to write a fic where the main character is being horribly abused and have it be so popular, and then when that character finally decides to stand up for himself, it suddenly becomes unpopular. i'm not entirely sure what people expected, honestly. maybe a redemption arc for thor? that's all i can think of. but this series has always (and will always) been about loki, and thor was kind of used as the big bad villain for loki to better himself off of. i think loki is really pushed to better himself through what other people do to him and this whole series was focused on that. i don't think loki (any version of him) is a good person, but i think he tries, and i think it's the people around him that push him to try. left to his own devices, loki would just cause absolute chaos.
> 
> but the way this series has gone down in popularity as it went on (maybe the amount of content is overwhelming? i honestly and genuinely cannot think of the reason why i went from 20+ kudos/chapter to Maybe 20 kudos/fic) has made the people who have stuck around all the more special. so, completely and totally from the depths of my heart, thank you so much. this series is so important to me and it brings me so much joy to know that there are people who impatiently wait for the updates and always leave kudos and comments and it just means the absolute world to me. so, thank you again to everyone. i really can't thank you enough. i would've lost any motivation for writing if it wasn't for you.
> 
> i don't know when the next fic is going to be done. i genuinely don't. i mostly write in fits and spurts until i get a bit rush of motivation or energy and knock out 20k in a weekend. i've been actually moving along fairly well lately and i'm hoping to knock out some more of it soon. i know where it's going, i just have to get it there. i have another fic planned for after the thanos fic, and hopefully i'll come up with a few more. i am in love with this series and don't want to leave it any time soon. the thanos fic is going to be around 150k (if not longer), so there's not going to be a lack of content. it'll be posted in chapters (not sure how many yet), and probably weekly.
> 
> anyway, if you want spoilers, follow me on twitter @whenhedied! i talk on there sometimes about what i'm writing and am always willing to answer questions/clarify stuff. i don't talk about this series on tumblr (@deluxemycroft) but i do reblog a lot of stuff, if that's something that interests you.
> 
> anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has stuck around this long. i promise the build up to thanos will be worth it.


End file.
